Anne van Doorn is a regular reader and back blogger here at SleuthSayers. He's also an author (with a charming way with words) and a friend of mine. I'm pleased to share his guest column with you today. Welcome, Anne.
-- Barb Goffman
My American Project—How to Write Like an American
My name is Anne van Doorn. It's one of my two pen names; the other is M.P.O. Books. I'm a professional writer from the Netherlands, where I earn a modest but sufficient income. In my spare time, I work on a book on 600 years of my family's history.
None other than Josh Pachter introduced me to an international readership. He translated from Dutch my story "The Poet Who Locked Himself In." It was published in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine's Sept/Oct 2019 issue. I feel very grateful to Josh and the staff at EQMM for giving me this opportunity. Editor Janet Hutchings even gave me the chance to write a guest post for her blog Something is Going to Happen.
In case you're starting to think I'm writing this post to BSP myself—no, I'm here to enlist your assistance, dear SleuthSayers.
I like a challenge. My introduction to an international audience made me wonder if I would be able to write an American detective novel. I'm sure I can—but to what level of performance? How convincing will it be? Your help is direly needed!
Dutch Writers Crossing Borders
Other writers from the Netherlands have tried this before—writing in English. Maarten Maartens (1858-1915), who lived the last years of his life in my hometown of Doorn, is said to be the first Dutchman to have written a detective novel for adults. It was titled The Black Box Murder (Remington & Co, London, 1889), and he wrote it in English. In fact, the novel has never been translated into Dutch. Maartens, who lived in England from 1864-1870, wrote almost exclusively in English. Regrettably, The Black Box Murder is his only detective novel.
Other glowing examples are Robert van Gulik (1910-1967), who is famed for his wonderful Judge Dee stories, set in ancient China, and Janwillem van de Wetering (1931-2008), noted for his characters Grijpstra and De Gier, two Amsterdam police detectives. By the way, Josh Pachter translated two short stories by Janwillem van de Wetering for EQMM. One of them, "There Goes Ravelaar!," was nominated for the Edgar Award for Best Short Story of 1986 by Mystery Writers of America.
It was also Josh Pachter who encouraged me to translate my short stories and gave me solid advice. Last year, I took on the challenge of translating "The Doctor Who Fell Into Sin" and submitted it to EQMM. I inked their contract in November. It was all the encouragement I needed. Apparently, my English is good enough—at least in short form.
The American Project
At the moment, my full-length so-called "American Project" is in the preliminary stages. I'm improving my understanding of the language and creating what I call my "palette."
I learned British English in school, so now I need to know how it differs from American English. I've made a list of idioms. I also study from the Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation. Furthermore, I've created an extensive list of words I don't use and write down their meanings and synonyms to discover their connotations. This should allow me to use them. I also list police jargon, slang, abbreviations, and terms of abuse. As a Christian, I don't like expletives, so I'm selective in this regard.
And I'm making my palette. It's a document full of all kinds of expressions for motions and positions. Take for instance the way you move through a room. There are many variations for it. You can walk, run, stroll, tiptoe, lumber, and so on. Some of these words are new to me, so I need to write them down. While writing a novel, I can consult my palette document, choose the best option, adapt it to the situation, and use it.
And by positions, I mean variations like these:
"The statuette rested on a shelf."
"The statuette was displayed on a shelf."
The same applies to non-verbal communication—the way we express our emotions and thoughts. I'm talking about shrugs, frowns, blushes, looks, and so on. You probably know them all, but I have to write them down to choose the best option for a given situation. And, of course, I also need to know all the ways of speaking: saying, whispering, screaming, stammering, and all other variants.
Eventually, my palette will be a helpful tool.
Learn by Reading Others
Even then, I'm well aware that I will make mistakes. I'm not a flawless writer. But thank God there are copy editors who can save me from my follies! Dis article, for a sample, was copi-editit by Barb Goffman—accept vor dis sentins. (Yeah, copy editing is hard labor!) I hope she's willing to help me on my American Project too, but I'm not sure she can, as this brave lady is learning to say no.
Now, my dear SleuthSayers, I turn to you. Over the years, this blog has published countless articles on the use of language, grammar, punctuation, and related topics. You've spotted my gravest mistakes in my comments on your posts. What particular article would you recommend to get me started?
Thank you, Barb, for sharing. And thanks for this great opportunity to make the other SleuthSayers part of my challenge!
ReplyDeleteYou're so welcome! :)
DeleteWelcome, Anne. I’m pleased to see you here on SleuthSayers.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you crafted extensive word lists– that blows me away. Yep, if Americans are good at one thing, it’s slang. We’re also pretty forgiving about word selection, because most of us screw up one way or another.
As you know, I worked in the Nederlands– too briefly, but it was enjoyable. Virtually everyone I met spoke excellent English usually with a BBC accent.
Offhand, I couldn’t think of a brilliant article or web site to point you to, but I started an extensive list of British/American differences– so extensive that 90 minutes later, it’s become an article in itself. I’ll post it at a later date, but in the meantime, I’ll send you what I have.
Again, good to see you, Anne!
Thank you, Leigh. I look forward to your next post!
DeleteThanks for the multiple shoutouts, Anne, and welcome to SleuthSayers!
ReplyDeleteYour word lists remind me of a short story I collaborated on in the mid-1980s with Ed Wellen, a wonderful gnomelike American writer. I had recently moved from Amsterdam to what was then West Germany, and Ed sent me a three-line newspaper clipping that mentioned the fact that storks migrate back and forth between The Netherlands and South Africa and suggested we write a story about a migratory stork used to smuggle diamonds from where they're mined (SA) to where they're cut (NL).
The Dutch word for stork — "ooievaar" — happens to be one of my favorite words in your mother tongue, and I made up a list of some thirty of my favorite Dutch words and proposed that our story include the English translations of as many of them as possible. It was an eclectic list, including the words "papagaaieeieren" (which contains seven consecutive vowels and means "the eggs of a parrot") and "angstschreeuw" (which contains eight consecutive consonants and means "a cry of fear") and "eisberen" (which means both "to pace back and forth" and "polar bears"!) and "stofzuiger" (which literally means "dust sucker" but is the Dutch word for "vacuum cleaner") and "straaljager" (which literally means "sunbeam chaser" but is the Dutch word for "jet airplane") and "neushoorn" (which literally means "nose horn" but is the Dutch word for "rhinoceros") and so on.
Ed created a marvelously devious plot into which every single one of my words could fit, we wrote the story — and, as "Stork Trek," it appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine's July 1985 issue.
See what can happen based on a list of words?! Get to work, ouwe makker van me!
LOL. I remember you wrote a guest article on Something Is Going To Happen on this topic. I am tempted to introduce a Dutch character who also uses some of these words. It will be fun!
DeleteAnd thanks for your warm welcome. I greatly admire what you do, and what you've achieved. I hope my American Project will make you proud.
Anne, you have a better command of English than most Americans, in fact, this sounds very much like an articulate American; I would never have known that English was not your first language nor that you learned British English first. The fact that you care enough to want to find the right word or phrases is a major plus in your favor and I truly applaud you for it. I keep finding mistakes in poorly-worded American stories, even in EQMM.
ReplyDeleteI am a born and bred American with a pretty good command of English, however, I read The Wordsworth Dictionary of Phrase and Fable like a novel, and I search for just the right words at https://www.freethesaurus.com/
My mother was born here but Italian was her first language. She and her five sisters became executive secretaries in the 1940s with no traces of accents through the efforts of their Irish-American teachers. The teachers took children from around the world, (who went home to speak their own languages), but the set them up for success in America, so we cousins, their children, had to grow up with good command of the language; (three of our uncles ran successful American businesses speaking English clearly.)
You already are on the right road and with Barb to guide you, I don't see how you will not succeed, but I will still wish you all the best.
Thank you, Tonette, for your kind and inspiring words. I guess it's even more difficult for an Italian to learn English than for me. Dutch has many words that are almost similar to their English equivalents. So, your mother and her sisters did a great job of learning to speak English without accent. I probably sound very British, though.
DeleteI was fortunate that Barb Goffman checked my article, otherwise the text wouldn't be as good as it is now. I compile a list of all her corrections, not only in this article, but also in the stories she edits for me. All those examples will help me too.
And thank you for the link to freethesaurus.com. I will try it out and see if it works for me.
Anne, your command of English is excellent. I think the main difference between BBC British and American English is that we almost always use contractions, and (in speech) are pretty sloppy with grammar. My main suggestion would be to study the actors whose voices and stylings are what you want your characters to say and use - and imagine that you've hired them to say all the dialog. If they can't say it, it's not right.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Eve. It took me a full day to write this piece. I knew what to write, but to do it right--that's hard! I like your idea of imagining actors' voices. When I create my characters, I'll keep that in mind.
DeleteBravo, Anne--I love this post! And yes, welcome to SleuthSayers (the writing side and not just the comments side).
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your success at EQMM! I wish you the best with your future "American detective novel"!
John, thank you! I always enjoy your posts too.
DeleteWelcome to Sleuthsayers, Ann. This is an excellent post, and I marvel at anyone who can speak more than one language fluently. Your wanting to write an "American" novel is a challenge because there are so many regional dialects and idioms, some of which change over time. It will take lots of research, but you are certainly capable of the task, and I look forward to reading your work when you finish.
ReplyDeleteHello, Steve. Thanks for your warm welcome. I greatly appreciate it!
DeleteFortunately, nowadays you can look things up on the Internet. Without it, I will not achieve my goal.
By the way, Anne is a gender neutral name in the Netherlands. In fact, in the northern parts, Anne is usually a name given to a boy. My mother comes from these regions, and grew up speaking the Frisian language. Dutch is her second language. She speaks it without accent now.
Hi, Anne. I'm so happy we at SleuthSayers are hosting you today. I just did a search of past SS columns and I found this one by John Floyd. Hope you find it helpful: https://www.sleuthsayers.org/2018/09/wheres-grammar-cop-when-you-need-one.html
ReplyDeleteHello, Barb. Wow, you're the first to bring up a SleuthSayers post for me to study. I know there are many more on relevant topics. Are the SleuthSayers too modest to list their own posts on these topics? Modesty is an admirable attitude, though.
DeleteThank you for taking the time to find this article by John Floyd. I will read and study it carefully. I'll do my best to avoid all the mistakes listed there. Step by step my writing will improve. That will save you time copy editing, and gives you more time to write your own stories. Isn't that an admirable target? I hope I will make you proud.
I know you will.
DeleteHi Anne! I've always heard that one should only translate into one's native language. The fact that you can write so well in American English is impressive. I'll echo what Eve said about studying American actors & imagining them speaking your words. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
ReplyDeleteHi, Elisabeth. Thank you for your encouraging words. I'll keep your and Eve's suggestion in mind. It's a great idea. Hopefully, I find the right voices for my characters.
DeleteAnne, thank you for this very interesting post! I got a special kick out of it, as I'm Canadian, and my dad was Brit, so our English was oh so proper. Every single time my books were released in the States, they made me go through and change all the curse words to something 'American'. Drove me bonkers! Thanks for visiting us.
ReplyDeleteHello, Melodie. Thanks for replying, I appreciate it.
Delete"they made me go through and change all the curse words to something 'American'. Drove me bonkers!"
Dang! You're probably still wiping the sweat from your forehead. They should've doubled your royalty fee for all that trouble!
Anne, I think you've made a great selection on American writing with Lopresti and Manfredo!
ReplyDeleteThank you, David. I have now finished "Rizzo's War". I was facinated by how vividly he describes Joe Rizzo's life as a police detective. I woulnd't be surprised if the author is a former police detective.
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