Florida by the Numbers

Thursday, a hundred rankled Orange County protestors and children converged on Orlando City Hall to demand an end to government stay-home oppression. They cried out against the horrors of forced unlabor. They sought to be loosed from the bonds of dictatorial rule and set free. And Mike Huckabee clamored in Florida courts to be unshackled from the Orwellian tyranny that required him to follow laws like ordinary, common citizens. He needed to be liberated from onerous beach-front activity restraints because… something.

When Michigan activists protested in drive-in Operation Gridlock, police noted that in their cars, citizens were inadvertently practicing safe, social distancing. Not so in Orlando, where unmasked citrus cankers breathed and sneezed and coughed at will. The numbers can’t be real: 2⅓-million cases globally, 33 383 in Canada, ¾-million in the US, 25½-thousand in Florida, 3000+ in Central Florida– apparently fake news, including 78 local deaths.

The last time I agreed with Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer was, um, pretty much never, but damn, folks. We’re trying to save lives.

Central Floridians took matters a step further into the Twilight Zone. They contend Dr. Anthony Fauci is a lying, malevolent hoaxer who inexplicably holds the President’s ear, deliberately wreaking havoc at the Federal level. Fauci’s motives are, um, deep state, Obamacare-coddling, and a really nasty infection that afflicted Florida’s governor. Whatever, it demanded protesting.

By the Numbers

Politicians may choose to ignore the science, but it’s difficult to ignore the math. Updating as you read this, the count of cases and deaths are spooky.

Say, each coronavirus victim infects two other people, and those two each infect two others, etc. It doubles exponentially. (The reality is closer to 2½×, but 2× is scary enough and much easier to calculate.)

In an ancient tale from Persia (or India), a king agreed to pay the inventor of chess in rice, one grain on the 1^st square of the chessboard, double that (two) on the 2^nd square, double again (four) on the 3^rd square, and so on for all sixty-four squares. Beginning with Square Zero (think Patient Zero) each square would contain:

№		results in…		№		results in…		№		results in…
0		1		22		4 194 304		44		17 592 186 044 416
1		2		23		8 388 608		45		35 184 372 088 832
2		4		24		16 777 216		46		70 368 744 177 664
3		8		25		33 554 432		47		140 737 488 355 328
4		16		26		67 108 864		48		281 474 976 710 656
5		32		27		134 217 728		49		562 949 953 421 312
6		64		28		268 435 456		50		1 125 899 906 842 624
7		128		29		536 870 912		51		2 251 799 813 685 248
8		256		30		1 073 741 824		52		4 503 599 627 370 496
9		512		31		2 147 483 648		53		9 007 199 254 740 992
10		1 024		32		4 294 967 296		54		18 014 398 509 481 984
11		2 048		33		8 589 934 592		55		36 028 797 018 963 968
12		4 096		34		17 179 869 184		56		72 057 594 037 927 936
13		8 192		35		34 359 738 368		57		144 115 188 075 855 872
14		16 384		36		68 719 476 736		58		288 230 376 151 711 744
15		32 768		37		137 438 953 472		59		576 460 752 303 423 488
16		65 536		38		274 877 906 944		60		1 152 921 504 606 846 976
17		131 072		39		549 755 813 888		61		2 305 843 009 213 693 952
18		262 144		40		1 099 511 627 776		62		4 611 686 018 427 387 904
19		524 288		41		2 199 023 255 552		63		9 223 372 036 854 775 808
20		1 048 576		42		4 398 046 511 104				total:
21		2 097 152		43		8 796 093 022 208		•		18 446 744 073 709 551 615

The total, my children, if your eyes haven’t glazed over, is 2⁶⁴-1, or 18 446 744 073 709 551 615, eighteen quintillion. Legends disagree whether the king made the maths wiz an economic advisor or executed the smartass.

The numbers, which start out relatively flat, soon zoom out of control. Relating to coronavirus, say the 10^th generation victims infect a thousand more and the 12^th another four thousand. The 20^th level infects one million and the 30^th one trillion. This is why it’s critical to disrupt the spread by masks, isolation, thorough cleansing, and sterilizing public places like Washington. But you knew that, right?

Please take care.

The Left Behind

Many are all atwitter about stimulus checks and several states have moved to protect landlords and tenants. In the rush to pass legislation, Congress and legislatures overlooked some citizens, including many college students and working teens. But here an Florida, another group in dire need has been forgotten. Sean Baker even made a movie about them starring Willem Dafoe.

Stay safe and read on…


Orlando and neighboring counties are loaded with weekly ‘residence’ motels. From the late 1940s through the early 70s, wanna-be hoteliers rapidly erected concrete block tourist lodgings, accented with bright colors, a couple of palm trees, and a swing set.

Disney’s arrival sucked the oxygen out of the Florida visitor biome, leaving hundreds of motels gasping for survival. Many became resident hotels, charging weekly for a ‘suite’ featuring a tiny kitchen corner and a bed. Dump trucks long ago filled the swimming pools with rubble and dirt to reduce operating expense. Now, a reduced cleaning staff soaks the accommodations with insecticide to avoid bedbugs and roaches in tight quarters.

Although few tourists advantage themselves of these ancient accommodations, the local inhabitants are unduly dependent upon the tourist trade, even when it dries up during a pandemic. These weekly residents work their asses off in menial jobs as day laborers or cleaning ladies or Binge Burger waitresses, constantly figuring out how to stretch the funds among rent, food, formula, and possibly a payment on a twenty-year-old car before it’s repossessed.

Some people care, director Sean Baker and actor Willem Dafore, for example. They made an award-nominated film, The Florida Project, about children living in weekly motels in Kissimmee. Dafore arrived early and spent a week living in such a motel. It surely influenced his work.

In a bout of irony, many ‘resident’ hotels deny their visitors residency. They kick their customers out after four weeks. Some are forced to sleep in their cars… if they’re lucky enough to have one.

Why? Under Florida statutes, thirty days establishes legal residency and that implies tenancy. Tenancy invokes landlord-tenant law, which establishes certain tenant rights, including that of proper eviction process.

So why should anyone care?

Besides being tourist-dependent, a lot of Florida is rented. To stave off mass evictions during the coronavirus, the Sunshine State has promised to aid both landlords and tenants in these trying times. The problem is that the poorest workers, those living in resident hotels, aren’t covered. While this is couched as an oversight, no politician has moved to correct it. Advice from authorities varies from “Try to work something out,” to “Pray.”

Really.