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| Vincent van Gogh self-portrait, bandaged ear |
Much of that tale is problematic, even outright false. I have a simpler theory:
He missed.
Wait, wait… I’ll explain.
Women were the least of Vincent’s problems. His trip to the south of France hadn’t worked out, his paintings weren’t selling, and he was dependent upon his younger brother Theo for a small monthly stipend. Naturally, when a person pays money to another, they feel entitled to offer advice.
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“Vinnie, Vinnie. What am I going to do with you? Sunflowers? Who cares about sunflowers. In my dreams, I hear a voice chanting, ’Take a leaf from O’Keeffe.’ Don’t know what the dream means, but there you go.”Van Gogh was one down-and-out dude. No luck selling his works, no luck with women, no job, no money, no friends– Van Gogh found himself beset with problems, especially depression.
“But Theo…”
“And that weird thing, Drunken Fireworks on Bastille Day, title it Starry Night. Listen, I’m an art dealer. I know these things. You with me, bro?”
“But Theo…”
“Look, a healthy guy ought to paint nekked women. Look at Manet, look at Georgione, Gérôme, and hey, your buddy Gauguin. Naked people, now that sells; flowers not so much. Try to be more, well, like Toulouse.”
“Too loose for what?”
“Vinnie, Vinnie. Check out other artists, man, keep your ear to the ground. You so got that Dutch yardstick-up-your-klootzak thing. That peasant who models for you, what’s his name?”
“Er, something with Zach, maybe Balzac, Shadrach, Mezach, Prozach, I dunno.”
“That’s enough to depress anyone. Gotta go, bro. That argument with Paul, get over it. Gauguin’s a good guy. Tell him to send me some work. See ya, Vin.”
On the 23rd of December 1888, he underwent a nasty row with his roommate, Paul Gauguin. Hours before Christmas, Van Gogh found himself abandoned, alone except for a bottle, actually a case of bottles.
He drank. He drank a lot. He followed Gauguin and waggled a straight razor at him. Gauguin sensibly fled to a hotel.
Vincent, truly alone, a man and his bottle… and a device commonly called a cutthroat razor.
The very drunk, very depressed artist decided to take his own life. He unfolded the blade. Intending to deliver a huge, decisive stroke, he raised the razor high above his shoulder, above his head. He hesitated, then whipped the blade down in a dramatic slash toward his quivering throat and…
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| Paul Gauguin - Fatata te Miti |
Gashed his ear, slicing it nearly off. Momentum lost, the blade glanced off his neck.
The inebriated artist botched his suicide.
The shock of blood and pain brought Van Gogh partially back to his senses. Woozy, he wrapped the ear and staggered to the brothel. There he unsuccessfully begged the teenage seamstress to sew it back on for him, a job too much for the girl.
Vincent van Gogh hadn’t deliberately cut off his ear. He’d intended to cut his throat and bungled his suicide.
So says my hypothesis. What’s your take?
Leigh, I think your take is as good as any. And I've heard the story that we all know about his ear didn't really go down the way we've heard it all these years.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure he wasn't in Shakespeare's play of Julius Caesar where Mark Anthony said "Lend me your ear(s)" and Vinnie took it to heart?
ReplyDeletePaul, Van Gogh suffer a psychic break or alcoholic episode and said he had no memory of the incident, so we don't know his thoughts. Combined with his successful suicide a couple of years later, yes, it's a good a theory as any!
ReplyDeleteRT… Oh, groan. That's bad, bad community theatre. (laughing)
Makes perfect sense to me. But the legend will continue, because... it's a good story. "Genius = madness" and all that.
ReplyDeleteSo much about the original story doesn't make sense. Today's theory at least fits the facts and the troubled man.
ReplyDeleteEve, not only was he a mad genius, he probably liked classical music too, another telltale sign. We live in an age when intelligence is frowned upon.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Anne. The notion seems reasonable and more sensible than some ideas!
Hands down the funniest explanation for Van Gogh’s ear issues. I’m sold!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lawrence. SleuthSayers should apply for a Van Gogh study grant, which much include vacation time, I mean research time in Provence.
ReplyDelete