Many common names today have their roots in long ago medieval trades. This is true of non-English names including French, Germanic, and Jewish names. They’re called occupational names and English examples include:
| Bailey Baker Barber Butcher Butler Carter Carver Chandler | Coleman Collier Cooper Dexter Dyer Farmer Fisher Fletcher | Forester Harper Hooper Hunter Mason Miller Palmer Rider | Sawyer Shepard Shoemaker Singer Skyler Smith Spenser Steward | Tanner Taylor Thatcher Tucker Turner Tyler Weaver Wheeler |
Aptonyms
Many years ago, a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel published what he called ‘aptonyms’, unintentional and usually ironic names that matched (more or less) their occupations, such as Butcher’s Mortuary in Knightstown, Indiana, or Brownie’s Septic Service here in Orlando. In googling today, I see this term has been picked up by others. In fact, there was a Canadian Aptonym Centre. Remember, these few examples are real people and real occupations.
| Alex Woodhouse Brian Coates Chad Hacker, Jr Cherish Hart Chris Fotos Dan Langstaff Darin Speed David Bird Debi Humann Dr. Knapp Dr. Robert Scarr Ellen Fair Helen Painter Janet Moo Jardin Wood Jeff Kitchen Jennifer English Jessi Bloom Jim Lawless Jim Playfair Joanie Hemm Joe Puetz | architectural designer paint company manager IT professional American Heart Association owner of portrait studio district court bailiff vintage Mustangs collector ornithologist human resources director anesthesiologist internal medicine physician county superior court judge artist stockyard packer accountant arborist for tree care chef and caterer H.S. English teacher landscaping company owner assistant police chief hockey coach leader of sewing program golf pro | Karl Bench Kestrel Skyhawk Kevin Sill Linda Savage Lorraine Read Marvin Lawless Matt Drumm Michael Laws Mike Blackbird Mike Inks Nita House Norm Mannhalter Penny Coyne Randall Sinn Raymond Strike Robert Marshall Roch Player Sandi Cash Scott Constable Sonia Shears Travis Hots Tyce Tallman | county judge wildlife center educator window shop owner etiquette specialist bookstore owner undersheriff professional percussionist lawyer Audubon Society officer graphic designer real estate agent security supervisor United Way pastor for Lutheran church union leader fire marshal geotechnical engineer accountant policeman hairdresser fire department chief basketball player |
Buffoonery
At one time, I considered writing a childish farce with comedic names. This sort of thing has to be done adeptly because it’s too easy to overshadow the story with distraction. Ian Fleming barely got away with some of his names like Pussy Galore, which easily could be mistaken for a porn star. And the porn industry is quite a catchall for such monikers like Seymour Butts.
A couple of names work best together, e.g, Willie Maquette, Betty Woant. Others sound like someone might unwisely use them in real life, i.e, Sam's Peck 'n' Paw pet shop.
Names and occupations I’ve considered are:
| Al Dente Ben Dover Billy Reuben Blanche Nutt Claude Butts Jean Poole Jerry Manders Kerry de le Gaj | chef proctologist has a lot of gall flapper girl lion tamer biologist politician concierge | Lotta Goode Miss Pickle Papa Bennett Patty Cache Percy Flage Polly Esther Ruby Lith Willie Evalurn | charity worker spinster poisoner suffers Peyronie's syndrome clerk English vaudeville comedian seamstress graphic arts designer incompetent recidivist |
In a similar vein, Cate Dowse suggested a pair of kneecapping mob enforcers might be called the Patella brothers. I should explain the underlying words for a few of the above names are rubylith (masking film), persiflage (mocking banter), and mispickel (the mineral arsenic is obtained from).
Following are more I didn’t originate, but with my own thoughts on occupations:
| Andover Hand Anita Job Ann Thracks Arthur Itis Bill Jerome Home N. Buddy Holme Faye Slift Frances Lovely Helen Earth Howard I. Kno Ima Dubble Jim Nasium Kareem O’Wheat Kurt Repligh | mountain climber headhunter femme fatale old codger contractor Jehovah’s Witness model travel agent untamed shrew clueless twin fitness trainer Irish/Muslim cook radio host | Leah Tard Lucy Lastick Lynn O’Leum M. T. Wurds Nora Lender Bee Ollie Luya Russell Leeves Scott Linyard Sid Downe Sue Flay Teresa Green Tobias A. Pigg Warren Pease Wayne Dwops | ballerina lingerie model flooring salesgirl salesman not a borrower choir singer landscaper detective and shuddup sous-chef another landscaper marketing guru author weatherman |
What are your names and occupations?
Long-time readers may recognize the image from our first SleuthSayers article in 2011. I was trying to think of suitable art work for today's column and recalled John Floyd’s post. I’m not sure who the copyright holder is (unless it’s John), but we’re grateful for the image.
ReplyDelete1Leigh, my mother always said that if I'd been a boy, she would have named me Russell and called me Rusty. My maiden name is Gates. When my first child was born, we joked about naming him Richard or Bud.
ReplyDeleteMy younger son was named by my then five-year-old son, who chose Adam for the Adam Twelve television show. BTW, my column tomorrow is about something that Adam wrote that is receiving lots of attention. Please check it out.
Most ingenious.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find with character names, though, is pick ones that are easy to type!
A long fancy name gets old if you are writing at novel length.
In South Africa we have a funeral services company called Human & Pitt.
ReplyDeleteA childhood acquaintance, Amy Body, dreamed of working for an undertaker so she could answer the phone with "A. Body speaking."
Leigh, I bet the guy at the wildlife center's birth name was not Kestrel Skyhawk. I believe all the others. ;)
ReplyDeleteFran, my mother often mentioned a classmate ‘Red Green’ (or Greene) with red hair. I can imagine introductions like “Hi, my name’s Green. You can call me Red.”
ReplyDeleteJanice, good point. I also give priority to names in the spelling dictionary.
ABA, no! That’s like something out of a Charles Addams cartoon.
Liz, it did seem a stretch. Of course it could have been a woman, too, but the same suspension of belief still weighs.
In Buffalo we have the Amigone (am I gone?) Funeral Home and their competition, Bury Funeral Home.
ReplyDeleteUp the road in Lewiston, New York is the neurosurgeon Dr. Young Yu who really should have been a plastic surgeon.
McDonald's had a president at one time named Fred Turner, who of course was married to Patty Turner.
My wife used to work at a company with three people named Terri or Terry. One day someone came in and asked for Terry Brown. My wife took him in the back where he heard the following conversation.
ReplyDelete"Excuse me, Terri.".
"Yes, Terri?"
"Would you take him to Terry?"
"Of course. "
I am sure he thought he was being put on, or had entered a Python sketch.
And do not forget Car Talk on NPR where the weekly listing os staff includes car seat teter Mike keister, and makeup artist Bud Tugley, etc.
Leigh, I wrote a story some time ago with the following characters: Stevie Dore, a dock worker; Minnie Strone, a soup kitchen supervisor, Venus D. Milo, and art store owner and Cliff Hanger, a writer.
ReplyDeleteIt was never published.
Elizabeth, those are great aptonyms. What is it about mortuaries that attract such odd names?
ReplyDeleteHerschel, I like those. Cliff Hanger… He must be a mystery writer.
Rob, that bit with the 'Terries' reminds me of a Marx Brothers skit, possibly one where Groucher plays a lawyer. My friend Steve steered a conversation in which he was perfectly honest but talking about two different Debbies.
My favorite Car Talk staff member was the Head of Working Mother Support Group: Erasmus B. Dragon.
ReplyDeletePhyllis Steen and Viola Fuss. Those from car talk too.
ReplyDeleteI regret to say I'd forgotten about Car Talk and yet, as John and Anon point out, theirs are some of the best I've encountered. I used to drive the streets of Boston laughing like a fool as Car Talk read their credits.
ReplyDeleteBack around 1972 Reader's Digest ran an article "Is Doctor Doctor In?" about physicians with last names like Doctor and Bonebrake! It closed with "But what is a girl to do when asked to disrobe in front of Dr. Ogle?"
ReplyDelete(laughing) Good point, Jeff!
ReplyDelete